Monday Earworm: “Weird Al” Yankovic

If you know me, you can make up your own introduction for this song.

 

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12 Days of Christmas Music That Doesn’t Suck, 2014 Edition (Day 9)

I have another parody for you to help get through today’s hectic silliness if you are, like me, handling last-minute stuff. You might have seen it already, but it’s always worth another couple of minutes out of your day. So get yourself a cup of Earl Gray, hot, and click on this video.

Let it snow? Make it so!

 

SkyMall Gems, 2014 Edition

SkyMall must be on to me.

They must have read my previous posts about their asinine merchandise (here and here) and decided to pull back on the cray-cray this year. But, of course, such habits die hard, and on my recent trip to Los Angeles, I found a few items to still make us gigglesnort at their inanity with relief that the business of creating overpriced chindogu for bored air passengers* is still alive and kicking its elevator-shoe-clad feet.

Sarah Warburton has provided commentary on these items, too, for your edification.

 

 

Grillight

 

Seriously? Does anyone actually grill in the dark, in the middle of the night? That’s some serious cravings, dude. Are you living with a vegan** or something?

 

Grillight
Sarah said, “This is what you give your dad when he doesn’t want any more ties.”

 

 

Singing Gondolier 

 

The catalog text reads, “Turn your pool into an enchanting Venetian canal.”

 

Sarah said, "That's awful."
Sarah said, “That’s awful.”

 

I guarantee it won’t do that.

 

And finally, continuing the SkyMall catalog’s curators’ unusual squirrel fetish…

 

 

Squirrel Tree Climber 

 

Because nothing says class like a weird animal sculpture. SkyMall specializes in these.

 

Sarah said, "Hahaha oh no!"
Sarah said, “Hahaha oh no!”

 

***

 

*  I am dismayed by the diminishing number of passengers I see reading every time I get on an airplane. To quote Handy and The Human Ton, “Read a book!” Like mine, which is coming out in August. (See what I did there? The requisite Shameless Self-Promotion Every Author Must Do, yet buried, hopefully in good taste, in a footnote.)

 

**  Nothing against vegans. I genuinely admire their resolve and commitment to social and ecological responsibility, especially when they don’t browbeat meat-eaters for not being vegan, too.

Things Which Do Not Belong in the Kitchen Sink. Thank You.

It’s been about a week of summer vacation here, and we might need to consider a slightly stricter routine around here than just saying, “Relax, school’s out!”

 

Things Which Do Not Belong in the Kitchen Sink.  Thank You.

  1. discarded candy wrappers and pirate booty bags
  2. half-eaten corn on the cob
  3. empty aluminum cans and milk cartons
  4. paper towels
  5. Legos
  6. wine corks
  7. empty liquid soap containers
  8. a throw pillow
  9. Disney princesses in any state of undress
  10. cloth napkins, dish towels, and pot holders

Are we clear?  Good.

12 Days of Christmas Music That Isn’t Awful (Day 12)

I have saved my favorite for last.

Straight No Chaser may be the first a cappella group to have signed with a major recording label.  These guys started singing together in college back in the 90s and have been doing it ever since.  They’ve managed to make a career out of singing, even all these years later.  And next month, one of these guys (Mike) is going to become my cousin-in-law when he marries my cousin Zoë.  Yay!  They make an adorable couple.

This video is how she introduced him to the family — well, those of us in the extended family who didn’t live in the same part of the country as they did.  (That includes me.)

If you’ve been keeping up with this series, thank you.  Happiest of holidays.  🙂