12 Days of Christmas Music That Isn’t Awful (Day 11)

Have your houseguests arrived yet?

This is “Uncle John” by Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick, and it’s hilarious.

 

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A Film I Hope Everyone Will See

Recently a friend and colleague of mine, director Mike Akel, released his latest project:  An Ordinary Family.  This is a movie I would like for everyone to see.  It deals with a sensitive, timely, and important subject in a funny yet poignant way, a manner which Continue reading “A Film I Hope Everyone Will See”

The New Twelve Days of Christmas

My husband and I rewrote “The Twelve Days of Christmas” for your holiday enjoyment.

***

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two bossy six-year-olds

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

One the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eleven lights a-shorting,

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Twelve minutes resting,

Eleven lights a-shorting,

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, Happy Human Day, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Saturnalia, and Happy New Year!

Something Fun To Do This Friday Evening

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.  We had a good one.  It didn’t go exactly as we had originally planned — we had unexpected houseguests at the last minute — but we had a fantastic holiday and really excellent weekend.  I especially enjoyed hanging out with old friends who no longer live here but were visiting for a few days.  Now it is time to get ready for work and school tomorrow, to put up our Christmas decorations, to get back to normal for a few weeks till the next major Series of Holiday Events.  (I genuinely love this time of year.)

In the midst of it all, for those of you in the Houston area this coming weekend, here’s something you might enjoy doing Friday evening.  There’s going to be a book launch for the new Mutabilis Press anthology, entitled Improbable Worlds, and one of my poems is going to be in it.  (Yay!)  The poem is called “Recipe for My Daughter.”  I hope you’ll join me at the launch!  Here are the details:

Friday, December 2nd; 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.; The Jung Center of Houston; 5200 Montrose

And here’s the website for Mutabilis Press:

http://www.mutabilispress.org/

MP’s website also has information for purchasing the anthology, in case you’re interested.  (I was also published in their 2005 anthology Timeslice, in case anyone wants a copy of that as well.  It had a lot of really fantastic Houston poets in it, and I was thrilled and humbled to be counted among them.  Improbable Worlds will be featuring poets of Texas and Louisiana, if I’m not mistaken.)

If the book launch for Timeslice is any indication, I and many of the other poets featured in the book will be signing copies the night of the event.  (I’m also happy to sign any copies other than that night, if you’d like.)  I hope to see you there!