12 Days of Christmas Music That Isn’t Awful (Day 9)

One of my very favorite Yuletide songs is “Carol of the Bells.”  When I was a child, I knew this song only as a lovely and too-short instrumental piece, but when I sang in the mixed chorus in high school and actually learned there were words and what they were, it became the one song in the repertory I looked most forward to singing.  Like probably every other high school chorus ever, we sang it a cappella, of course, in four-part harmony, of course, but to me, it was special.  It was also one of the first songs from which I ever learned to appreciate the complex workings of overlaid voices, and everything coming together at once felt sort of magical.

Many versions of this song have been made. I’m rather partial to George Winston’s piano rendition on his album December (Windham Hill, 1982) — which is a great album, by the way, if you like piano music.  Actually, the only version of this song I’ve ever heard that I did not like is the one they play on Houston’s Official Christmas Music Station.  (I’m sure you’re shocked by this.)  I don’t even know who’s responsible for that version; they sound like a typical 1970s mixed adult chorus who are probably all wearing matching polyester with matching helmet hair and are swaying and snapping their fingers in a matching Stepford-like pattern.  The accompanying music screams jazz hands.  This version of the song has very different and extremely religiously-charged lyrics.  (Now, obviously, I understand that there is a very healthy foundation in this holiday which is religious, and I have no problem with that.  I actually like many religious carols, too.  But the way they screwed up this one, ugh.  Bad doggie, no biscuit.)

Enough of that.  I’m presenting to you two videos of this song.  The first is from a television special that came on when I was young; it had the California Raisins and other Claymation figures performing Christmas music in a sort of variety show format reminiscent of Sha-Na-Na. (Do you remember that show? No? God, I’m old.)

Here, maybe this will jog your memory.  Because how could anyone forget Bowzer?
Here, maybe this will jog your memory. Because how could anyone forget Bowzer?

 

Anyway, the California Raisins and Claymation in general were a big deal back then, too, and my dad had recorded this Christmas music special onto a VHS tape, and we must have worn it out just rewinding and rewatching the “Dumb Bell” segment because we thought it was so funny.

 

 

But in case this kind of camp isn’t to your taste anymore — and you would have all my sympathies if it weren’t — I’ve also found this lovely video of ThePianoGuys that might be more your speed.  Enjoy.

 

 

Happy Yule.  🙂

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The New Twelve Days of Christmas

My husband and I rewrote “The Twelve Days of Christmas” for your holiday enjoyment.

***

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two bossy six-year-olds

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

One the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eleven lights a-shorting,

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Twelve minutes resting,

Eleven lights a-shorting,

Ten latkes burning,

Nine candles dripping,

Eight ornaments breaking,

Seven shoppers macing,

Six kids a-screaming,

Five unwrapped gifts,

Four crowded malls,

Three houseguests,

Two bossy six-year-olds,

And a whining four-year-old boy.

***

Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Yule, Happy Human Day, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Saturnalia, and Happy New Year!