No video today.  The reason?  Because the song I’m about to share with you has never been recorded other than written down in words.  Here.

One of my favorite Christmas songs when I was a kid was “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”  Maybe it was because of the repetition, maybe it was because of the variety of objects.  Maybe it was because, in my imagination, the song contained a visual smorgasbord of fantastic things.  I just loved singing it.  A lot.  On the swingset, in the shower, while I was setting the table for dinner, while I was wrapping gifts — you name it.  (Of course, I also indulged in marathon singing sessions of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” with my grandmother on car trips, to the unbelievable annoyance of my parents, I’m sure.)

Anyway, a couple of years ago, my husband and I came up with new lyrics for the delightful carol.  We were at breakfast with our kids, who were hyper.  It was about this time of year.  We had much to do and not nearly enough time to do it.  Saturday stretched ahead of us like one long divide-and-conquer list.  And these new lyrics arose organically from our collective stress and enjoyment of the season — in other words, from our punchiness.

Click here to read “The New Twelve Days of Christmas.”

You enjoy.  I’m going to go try and finish grading finals by tomorrow afternoon.  I’m going to try not to fail.